Mr Robin Buster
XXXXXXX & Co
XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XX
Manchester

Dear Mr Buster,

Thank you very much for your letter bringing our attention to your faulty Samsung desk phone. We have installed over 60,000 without any reported faults. So we have never found the need to test every one.

Having spoken to our team of engineers, we cannot ascertain why one of the Samsung desk phones that you purchased causes callers to hear you answer with the phrase “Hello robbing bastard”. We have never heard of distortion previously and we couldn’t recreate this in our test facility. We can only assume that this desk phone was temporarily affected by the callers hearing rather than someone like Roy Chubby Brown.

As an apology, I have enclosed a replacement Samsung desk phone. I have personally tested this for language faux pas and it seems fine.

Yes, the Samsung handsets do make a great substitute for a gavel when wanting to attract attention in meetings and are a great way to annoy people. No, we have never received any reports of our handsets swearing.